Looking towards the future. . .

I don't know what tomorrow will bring. . . but this past week, has been good. . . there have been a couple of wods, that I thought would kill me. . . but they didn't!  A few moments that I felt like I was going to die. . . and I didn't. . .and a couple of seconds, that I thought I couldn't handle. . . but I did. . . Is this my transformation in action?  Is it working?

Only tomorrow will tell. . .

xoxo

Another day. . . more challenges. . .

Another epiphany. . .the same way I see all the bad things in the mirror. . . I see all the difficulties in my life. . . none of the good. . .

Today, I will remember the good, remind myself that the challenges are there to make me stronger and enjoy life. . .

Short and sweet!

xoxo

Am I crazy?

I'm beginning to feel a bit crazy. . . this goes back to the logical me and the emotional me.  Logical me knows I'm making changes, positive changes. . . I have muscles I've never had before, I'm wearing sizes I haven't worn in a very long time, my measurements are great. . . what could I have to complain about?

Ok, the emotional side (i.e., crazy side).  I see fat, everywhere, rolls, bumps, movement. . . that I feel if I was as in shape as I am telling myself I am. . . wouldn't be there. . .Has my body really changed that much?  Is it because I'm getting old?  Are all the bumps and rolls going to go away?  Will I ever see myself as others do?  Or will I always be "stocky"?

Oh, Lord. . . help the craziness go away. . .

xoxo

Better and better. . .

I can say it is getting better. . . . I have been very aware and practicing my "one minute at a time" and I think it is working. . . I have my moments, but all in all. . . better. . .

Last night I had an amazing workout, Jumping Nancy, 5 rounds, 50 double unders and 15 overhead squats @ 65#. . . done in 13:46. . . my first round of double unders was unbroken and all my OH squats were unbroken.  After my workout a friend took a video of me doing pull ups. . . I had to look twice, it doesn't look like me. . . lol. . . I wish I could see myself the way others see me. . . maybe someday I will. . . someday soon, I hope. . .

xoxo

One second, one minute, one hour, one day. . .

I must continue to remind myself. . . one minute at a time.  I look at my life and it all seems so overwhelming. . . and it makes me tired. . .

Today was a tabata workout. . . I was scared and tried to think of an excuse not to do it. . . but I am soooo glad I did it. . . more than just the workout itself, I had a revelation right in the middle of round 3 (of 32 mind you - I was obviously still thinking clear at that point). . . I said to myself, "you can get one more pull-up"  and I got one more pull-up, after every one, I said "I can do one more."  The revelation came when I realized, I can be happy, confident, courageous and strong, for one more minute.  Just 60 seconds, I can do that. . . after every minute, I can do just one more minute. . . and one more minute after that. . . I am now on a roll. . .

On the physical side, I am down another size. . . I can't equate that to weight, as I threw my scale away. . . and my measurements got lost when my Blackberry died, so. . . from start (August 2010) to today I have dropped 8 sizes (size 12 to a size 3-4).  Nothing to sneeze at!  Physically, I'm feeling good. . .

I think I taught myself something today, I am going to go and practice my lesson. . . for one more minute. . .

xoxo